Earth Log Entry #22: Parasite Battle
Sonny, Vanessa, and Chad piled into Sonny’s Tacoma after a tough hike through the woods.
Chad took a swig from his water bottle. “I think I lost part of my soul on that hill.”
Vanessa looked back at him. “It was barely a hill.”
Sonny started the truck. “It was a 10% grade.”
Chad leaned his head back against the seat. “I need electrolytes. And like…three burritos.”
Vanessa laughed. “You say that after every hike.”
Sonny pulled onto the road. “Your body appears physically incapable of moderation.”
Chad scratched his arm absentmindedly. Then froze. “…guys.”
Vanessa looked over. “What?”
Chad pointed slowly at his sleeve. A tiny tick crawled across the fabric.
Vanessa recoiled instantly. “OH MY GOD.”
Sonny glanced at Chad in the back seat. “…what is that?”
Chad looked horrified. “It’s a tick.”
Sonny blinked. “A tiny bloodsucking parasite?”
Vanessa climbed halfway onto the dash. “THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW.”
Chad panicked and flicked it.
Silence.
Vanessa threw up her hands. “DUDE!…now where is it?”
Chad looked around frantically. “I DON’T KNOW.”
Sonny didn’t look away from the road. “We have lost visual confirmation of the parasite.”
Vanessa twisted around in her seat. “CHECK THE FLOOR.”
Chad studied the floor of the truck. “I AM CHECKING THE FLOOR.”
Vanessa handed him a flashlight. “CHECK BETTER.”
Sonny slowed the truck. “This situation has escalated.”
Vanessa looked over wildly. “It’s escalated, alright!”
Chad lifted his feet off the floor. “Bro, if that thing gets on me again I’m jumping out of the truck.”
Sonny pulled into a quiet suburban neighborhood and parked along the curb.
Vanessa looked around nervously. “Why are we stopping?”
Sonny unbuckled his seatbelt. “The parasite must be neutralized.”
He carefully searched around the center console.
Then—
“…ah.” Sonny grabbed a nearby empty sandwich baggie and let the tick crawl onto it.
Chad recoiled. “OH MY GOD.”
Vanessa unbuckled her seatbelt and covered her mouth. “Don’t let it touch me.”
Sonny studied it calmly on the street. “…remarkable.”
Vanessa pointed at him. “Do not call that thing remarkable.”
Sonny rotated the baggie slightly. “It is extremely small. Yet humans fear it immensely.”
Chad looked closer. “Because it literally drinks your blood!”
Sonny nodded slowly. “Blood is evidently a highly effective nutrient source.”
Vanessa looked disgusted. “JUST KILL IT.”
Sonny continued examining it.
Then—
The tick fell off the baggie.
Silence.
Sonny looked down.
Vanessa’s eyes widened. “…Sonny.”
Chad looked to the ground. “WHERE IS IT?”
Sonny scanned the street carefully. “…it has escaped.”
Vanessa put her hand to her forehead. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”
Chad went back to his seat and buckled his seatbelt. “I’M OUT. I’M DONE.”
Sonny slowly surveyed the neighborhood.
Children rode bikes peacefully down the street. A man watered his lawn. Birds chirped softly.
Sonny folded his arms. “…the blood parasite is now loose within this suburban sector.”
Vanessa stared at him. “You make everything sound worse.”
Chad checked his legs frantically. “I can literally feel them crawling on me.”
Vanessa looked down at herself and brushed her arms. “UGHHH.”
Sonny nodded. “Yes. Psychological destabilization appears highly contagious.”
Chad pointed at him. “You lost the tick!”
Sonny looked genuinely disappointed. “…correct.”
Chad sighed. “…Whatever. Let’s get out of here. I need to shower and scrub my skin off.”
Vanessa put her seatbelt back on and nodded. “Yeah.”
Sonny took out his Earth Log device and began typing.
Today I encountered a small parasite known as a “tick.” The organism feeds on blood and spreads disease. Chad and Vanessa responded with immediate psychological destabilization. The parasite escaped containment and now appears to be operating somewhere within a residential neighborhood. The residents should be prepared for battle.