Earth Log Entry #11: A Whole Different Operating System
Sonny, Vanessa, and Chad arrived exactly ten minutes early to the Fighting for Our Youth Annual Charity Gala.
Vanessa checked in at the front table.
Within thirty seconds she had learned the volunteer’s name, complimented her earrings, and asked how long she’d been involved with the organization.
Sonny leaned toward Chad. “Is she interrogating the staff?”
Chad shrugged. “She’s being friendly.”
Vanessa waved them over. “Guys! This is Melissa!”
Melissa smiled. “Welcome, nice to meet you!”
Sonny nodded politely. “…what are your intentions with this event?”
Melissa blinked. “My intentions?”
Vanessa laughed. “Oh my goodness, Sonny.”
Then she smiled at Melissa. “Sorry, he doesn’t get out much.”
Everyone laughed.
Sonny looked at Chad. “…that was a normal question.”
They walked toward the coat check.
Vanessa immediately struck up another conversation. “Oh my gosh I love your tie.”
The coat check attendant lit up. “Oh, thank you! My girlfriend got it for me.”
Sonny whispered to Chad. “She knows his relationship status already.”
Chad chuckled. “Sonny, that’s Firecracker for you. She makes friends faster than anyone I’ve ever met.”
Sonny nodded slowly. “Smart. The coat guardian controls access to the outer garments. This is a strategic alliance.”
Chad started fixing his tie. “It’s a coat check, Sonny.”
Vanessa disappeared into the room, and within minutes she had joined a small group laughing near the bar. Then another group near the stage. Then another group near the dessert table.
Sonny watched her move effortlessly from conversation to conversation. “Chad…she is forming alliances. She may control the room by midnight.”
Chad sipped his drink. “She’s networking.”
Sonny scanned the room. “I count fourteen new friends.”
“Sounds about right.”
Vanessa waved them over again. “Sonny! Come meet Greg!”
Greg shook Sonny’s hand enthusiastically. “Nice to meet you!”
Sonny studied him carefully. “…what are your intentions with Vanessa?”
Greg blinked. “My intentions?”
Vanessa groaned. “He’s joking.”
Sonny turned to Chad. “I am not joking.”
Chad patted his shoulder. “You’ll get used to it.”
Across the room Vanessa was already talking to three more people.
Sonny watched her for a long moment. “Chad…how many friends does one human require?”
Chad shrugged. “Depends on the human.”
Sonny looked at the room.
Then at Vanessa.
Then back at Chad.
After a long pause he sighed. “…I miss the apartment.”
He took out his Earth Log device and began typing.
Some humans possess enormous social capacity and appear to enjoy interacting with other humans for no clear reason. Vanessa is one of these humans. I do not understand it. I must return to the quiet confines of the apartment soon.